Thursday, April 03, 2008

Defeated...

I'm feeling very defeated at the moment. I raked the entire front yard yesterday...it took me over 3 hours to do it (that is subtracting my lunch break, for which I took off one hour, so seriously, it was *3* solid hours of raking and hauling the debris into the woods)...I didn't get to the large flower bed which needs to have leaf and weed removal. I fully concentrated on the yard so I'd be able to mow it today. I went out to start the mower once Delaney was on the bus...I figured I'd have a solid hour to get it done while the twins were still at school. Do you think it happened? Hell no. I couldn't get the f'ing mower started. Next time we buy a mower, please be sure it is electric start. I primed it, I pulled the cord. NOTHING. Not even a hint of power. Grrr. I'm going to look for one of those old fashioned push mowers. At least it would be reliable and I know I could power it. I hate having to depend on others to help me out, I guess this is one time I'll have to do so because I do not know what else to do. Which brings me to my next gripe...the rain is due to start this afternoon and is supposed to continue at least through Saturday...but maybe if someone can get this thing started, it'll be easier for me next time. Does it work like that???

Things have been rough with the kids. Delaney has really been acting up, not doing what I ask, poking around being distracted, and basically ignoring me. Last night after me yelling at her for the 100th time to go brush her teeth, she started crying "Where did my real mommy go?" So, now I feel like a failure as a mom, too. I tried to explain to her that her actions cause my reactions and when I ask her to do something, I expect her to do it without me having to repeat myself numerous times. With three of them acting that way, I can only take so much before I lose it. Today we went to Wal-Mart and I bought her a penguin that can be hooked up to an MP3 player. We agreed that she will stop hitting and work on her listening skills to earn the toy. I don't know what else to do. In general, I don't feel a reward system is the way to go because they only perform the actions for the rewards, but it works for programs like Mary Kay and Usborne Books, so maybe it will work for the kids. The twins will also have the same expectations put upon them. William will be working towards a new Power Ranger and Tinna towards a Princess CD Player. We'll see what happens.

Besides that, nothing much is new. Today is a big day with Twinkies having a field trip to the Children's Museum and everyone has Kindermusik tonight. Baths this afternoon. Fun, fun. My friend Tricia is supposed to come visit us Saturday so I need to start thinking about tidying. Shouldn't be too bad since Bob & Bonnie were just here. It's nice to have a steady stream of people coming through...keeps things running a bit more efficiently in all honesty.

Still working on Truly Tasha. I've taken the past two nights off. Last night I watched most of "Becoming Jane"...still have 45 minutes to go. Good flick. The night prior, I watched "Elizabeth: The Golden Age". LOVE Cate Blanchett as Elizabeth. I don't think there is anyone else who could play her except maybe Tilda Swinton. Was terribly disappointed in the Sweeney DVD...it won't play in our living room machine. I think there is something wrong with the actual player as 2/3 new movies won't work out here but they play fine in the bedroom or playroom. Frustrating. So...I haven't seen Sweeney at home yet. Maybe this week-end I'll have an early-to-bed night with Johnny Depp. (Sorry, Steven!)

4 comments:

Debbie B said...

I have only one comment about the raking thing - cut your exposure in half....invest in a leaf blower!

Shannon said...

I have a leaf blower but that doesn't clean up pine straw, pinecones, branches, or the fruit casings from the Sweetgum trees...but thanks for the advice.

Liudwih said...

Don't feel defeated. You have hugs circle of support who would do anything for you. Don't be afraid to ask. You are just one person and you can only do so much by yourself. Besides I need a reason to send my husband away for a few hours;-)

usnpao said...

Word of advice... send the mower out for a service. It needs a new spark plug and fresh oil and gas. Try find something to use as a ramp so you don't have to worry about lifting the mower into the car. By the way... If they'd make a movie with Johnny Depp and either Drew Barrymore or Reese Witherspoon, we would have an unforgettable early night together ;)